Heard any of these ‘meant to be helpful’ expressions that mothers, ex-boyfriends, friends and the world at large seem to say to single women, reminding them of their single status.
‘Have you met ‘the one’ yet?’
‘I can’t understand it – you’re lovely, attractive, smart and successful. Why haven’t you been snapped up?’
‘Are you a lesbian?’
At a wedding: ‘We’ve put all the singles together on an odds and ends table.’
From your mother: ‘When, oh when, am I going to get some grandchildren?’
Also: ‘I read an article the other day which said that by their late thirties, women’s fertility plunges to such an extent that only five per cent can actually get pregnant. You’d better get a move on finding a husband.’
Or even: ‘It’s such a pity that you didn’t marry Paul. He was so charming. Didn’t he get married to Sarah – that really beautiful girl? Do you still see him in your circle of friends?’
From your best friend: ‘Guess what? We’re engaged! Look at my ring!’
Also: ‘I’m pregnant! We’re going to have a baby!’
From your last serious boyfriend: ‘Although Saskia and I have only known each other for a couple of months, I thought it only fair to tell you. I have asked her to marry me.’
From your employer: ‘The board has requested all single members of staff to provide skeleton cover in the office between Christmas and New Year as other staff members have family commitments.’
From the holiday company: ‘Children go free. 40 per cent surcharge for single room occupancy.’
From the estate agent at a viewing: ‘And in here we have the nursery… You could make this into a study or office.’
From a married woman with children: ‘You’re so wise not to have married and had kids. I tell you, every second of my life is taken up with family stuff – husband, children, school – you’ve got the right idea. Don’t go there.’
And we read it everywhere too: [sub heading]
Mini Christmas Pudding: Serves 1.
On a wedding invitation: (Name) plus guest
On a Christmas card: To Jane, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Lots of love from Camilla, Rupert, Naomi, Charlie, Toby, Anouska…and the bump!
Invitation: St Margaret’s School 1982 Reunion. Bring husbands and children. See you there!
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